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I now volunteer with Just Like Us, going into schools to speak about being LGBT+.
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Having more inclusive education at school would’ve made this process a whole lot easier. Now I firmly know that being a lesbian doesn’t make you any less of a Christian but it was a tough journey to realising this. I needed to know that these intersecting identities in a person can exist. I needed someone to validate my existence as a Filipina, a Christian and a lesbian. My parent’s only child cannot be a lesbian.
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The necessity of filial piety in Filipino culture meant that I could not and should not come out. So I started to keep things to myself – even at school. Suddenly for me, all of the comforting words and encouraging smiles from my family friends turned to scrutinising questions and prying eyes. I was hiding an important part of myself to my own community. But it always felt like I was half in and half out (no pun intended) and when my struggle about my sexuality kicked in secondary school, it all made sense. It was comforting to have a second family away from home – everyone is my uncle and aunty despite having no blood ties to them and only having met them once in the Asian supermarket. It was just my mum, my dad and I.įortunately, there was a massive Filipino community in where I live so I never lost touch with my roots or my faith. I had to adjust to a new culture, learn a new language, learn to eat boiled vegetables for lunch and I was away from everyone and everything I had ever known. When I moved from the Philippines to the UK at 8 years old. Apart from Vatican City, Philippines is the only other country where divorce does not exist. I was raised in a Christian/Catholic household and I came from an extremely conservative country.
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So you can all imagine the distress that I was in when I thought that there was a slight chance that I was not heterosexual. My upbringing paved a straightforward path to my future: find a job, a husband, get married, start a family and go to church every Sunday. This isn’t just because Mulan was the first Asian Disney character – she wasn’t even the right Asian for me to begin with – but because the lyrics to that beautiful song were accidentally LGBT+ coded. Lea Salonga’s song “Reflection” helped younger me feel seen. “Now I see That if I were truly to be myself, I would break my family’s heart”Īs a first-generation immigrant from the Philippines, a Christian, and a lesbian, I consider Mulan’s “Reflection” to be my coming-out anthem.
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